Santas Breaks The World Record For Present Giving
Hi Edward The Elf back with Santa's Merry thoughts.
All the elves are starting to sing even more loudly than last night. And it's giving me a headache.
Sorry to be a grump today but Santa gave me a job to do that was much too easy.
We had to do a rehearsal of landing on a roof, getting down the chimney and putting toys at the end of a bed.
But I drew the short straw and had to be the child in bed.
Why's that a problem?
Well, whenever my head hits the pillow I fall fast asleep. Santa says it's because I have no conscience or something. Oh no wait. It's that I have nothing on my conscience,
Anyway, the result was that I got into bed - sure enough as soon as my head got anywhere near the pillow I was asleep. So I missed the always funny bit when Santa lands on the roof and finds that there's no chimney.
You wouldn't believe how many children worry about Santa not being able to get down the chimney.
That's why we were so pleased that the Harry Potter films came out. Remember how Harry gets to Platform 5 1/2?
Santa does the same with houses. When each one is being built us elves go there at the dead of night and construct a parallel universe, invisible and unusable - except for Santa - chimney.
The reason why it's so funny when Santa lands is because ...
The chimney us elves makes knows there's no normal one in the house. So it immediately sucks Santa up and dumps him into the house. It's like watching a brand new Dyson in action on an old and dirty carpet!
Santa always looks so funny landing on his bottom. And I missed it this year.
Other than that the rehearsal went well and Santa broke his own record for landing, present giving and mince pie eating by 0.001 of a second. Way to go Santa!
Anyway, Santa's promised I can watch the rehearsal next year. That way I get a good laugh that sets me up for the rest of the year.
Speak to you soon...
posted by Jim Symcox at 10:53 PM
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